There are 40 story posted.
Story told by Laura
From
Massachusetts
I had the perfect pregnancy. I got pregnant the first time we tried. I was never sick a day. I exercised and ate perfectly (well, almost) every day for nine months. I have no family history of labor difficulties. Then my water broke. Suddenly things were no longer perfect.
After 24 hours of labor, I ended up with what I never considered a possibility: a c-section. My body was assaulted throughout the labor, and then attacked with the scalpel. It was horrific. I was exhausted.
I waited for my milk to come in. And waited. And waited. Everyone told me it would be any moment. “Just keep feeding that baby colostrum,” they said. Colostrum turned to tears, tears turned to blood. Nothing was coming out. I drank the teas; I ate the herbs. I consulted one lactation consultant after the next. I pumped and pumped and pumped. Nothing worked.
Finally, at 6:00am on day 13, I snapped. I actually yelled at my innocent, perfect child: “Why are you hurting me!?!” My mother swept in from the hallway and pronounced, “You are done!” and stuck a bottle of formula in my son’s mouth. It was the best thing anyone could have done for me.
About a week later, I was talking to a leader from La Leche League. I can still recall the feelings of joy I had when she told me that I was right to have given up. “You can’t get blood from a stone,” were her exact words. I felt forgiven for my greatest sin.
How ridiculous! In fact, when my second son was born, and my milk threatened to come in, I tried to breastfeed again. I still harbored feelings put on me by others that I owed my baby something more than the life I gave him. Yeah right; I lasted two days, was told once again to give up, and decided that using formula would allow even my then two year old to bond with his brother. Wisdom prevailed over the insanity of emotion.
I am now the proud mother of two strapping, healthy young boys, aged five and three. They are never sick. They are smart as whips. They don’t have emotional bonding issues. They are best friends. How wrong I was to let anyone make me feel less than for not being able to breastfeed or not choosing to breastfeed.
Laura is married and her two sons are now 5 and 3. She works as a consultant.
Story told by Beth
From
Kansas
My husband and I tried to have children for 7 years. We finally turned to IVF and were thrilled to learn that our first attempt had been a success. We had a beautiful baby daughter, in January 2004.
Through all the years of trying to conceive I had learned, from family, friends, books, TV., etc. about the benefits of breastfeeding. Breast milk was known to boost immunity, brain power, bonding with mom, etc. Why wouldn't I want to do this for my child? So, when my daughter arrived, I tried. For the most part I was successful but it was not the warm fuzzy experience for which I had hoped. First, my daughter was colicky for 6 months and my nerves were frayed. She wouldn't latch onto my left nipple, which required me to use a silicone nipple shield for the 8 months that I nursed. If I didn't have it with me, I was in big trouble, and she would scream bloody murder! We did supplement her with formula which allowed me to have a break from time to time, which was a welcome relief.
When my son was born, he had to stay in the NICU. I was told he was having withdrawal symptoms from the anti-depressant, Prozac, which I was taking. I had to make a decision to either give up the medication or give up nursing, because his system could not tolerate the Prozac. I was angry that my choices were so limited and that there really was no choice at all. I knew that I could not function without my medication and I felt guilty that I couldn't nurse. My poor son wasn't going to get all of those breast milk benefits that my daughter received. A close relative told me to go off the medication for the sake of my son and basically not be so selfish. I was distraught! What would become of him?
Well, my son, too, was colicky for 6 months. Once again my nerves were frayed and the baby blues kicked in big time. Plus I had the additional guilt of not being able to breastfeed. Eventually, that eased. It took a good 2-3 months, once people, including complete strangers, stopped asking me if I was breastfeeding.
In reflecting on both experiences with my children, I don't feel a stronger bond with Emma because I breastfed her over Eli, who was bottle fed. Both sat on my lap, rested against my chest, snuggled in my arms, and, I believe, instinctively knew that they were being well taken care of by a mommy that loved them very much.
Beth is married and her two children are now 3 and 10 months old. She's a stay at home mom.
Story told by Ann M
From
Texas
I chose to breastfeed my twins for a very short time (6 weeks) and supplement with formula. There were several reasons for our choice; I had a breast reduction as a young adult and could not produce enough milk to feed both of my children, which required supplemental formula. Obviously, this information was not known until after I had delivered. Even before knowing if and how much I could produce for my children, I always intended to use formula in addition to breast milk, if it was an option.
The reason that I only chose to breastfeed for six weeks was more logistical. I could not manipulate both of my children by myself into the necessary positions to feed them together. As a mother of multiples; the one thing I was told from other mothers of multiples that was key, was to keep the babies on the same schedule. This meant feeding them at the same time; not even 15-30 minutes apart. We kept this philosophy throughout their infancy.
Our choice was not influenced by samples given to us in the hospital. Although the samples we were given were VERY much appreciated.
Ann is married and her twins are now 7. She works part-time as a software trainer/office manager.
Story told by Pam B
From
Massachusetts
Before my first child was born, I was certainly open to breastfeeding as an option, but wanted to see what would work best for us. Unfortunately, I did not get much of a choice in the matter as after my first child was born, I had an extremely difficult time. It began with an emergency C-section but I was able to begin breastfeeding okay. Then the baby had a staff infection 10 days later, within 30 days I developed mastitis that became an abscess that had to be surgically removed. It’s hard to believe, looking back, that the lactation consultants that worked in conjunction with the hospital told me to go ahead and “nurse through it” – the pain was unbelievable, I would cry as the baby latched on and throughout the nursing. I cannot imagine that was good for my baby. Both my OB-GYN and plastic surgeon (who removed the abscess) were also appalled by the recommendations of this nurse that I should continue to breastfeed during this time (and was told I could continue to nurse post-op!). I did manage to breastfeed for one month, even while the baby was hospitalized before needing to stop so that I could go in for emergency surgery. I was so thankful for the samples I had been provided while in the hospital at time of delivery, and also at the Children’s Hospital in Philadelphia, it made my daughters stay at the hospital and my emergency surgery much less traumatic knowing high-quality formula provisions were there for her dad and my mother to feed her in my absence.
When my second daughter was born almost 3 years later, there were several precautions taken by medical staff to ensure my health and my daughter’s health. I needed oral and IV antibiotics due to previous staff infections, but I was still willing to give breastfeeding the “old college try” again. After trying for a few weeks, my baby and I both got infections and I was advised to limit skin to skin contact with my baby. At this time, I moved to formula which was the best for all of us. I was very disappointed that no free samples of formula were offered at MGH this time, as they had been at the time of my first daughter’s birth. It helps to have on hand some emergency stand-by formula as well as information, since you may need it at 3am! I am a firm believer that we have a right to know all our options and make the best decision for our families. A stressed out, exhausted breastfeeding mom is not necessarily better than a relaxed, healthy bottle-feeding mom or dad.
Additionally I was diagnosed with postpartum depression about 4 months after I delivered my first baby. I cannot help but think that the health issues I faced as a result of my pregnancy added to the emotional stress I was feeling. Knowing this I had to discuss with my OB for my second delivery if I wanted to breastfeed, because the medication I took for the postpartum is not permissible while feeding. This situation once again, forced me to choose between my health and my baby’s.
I am still appalled by the number of people I ran into on the city streets that would ask casually if I was breastfeeding, as if they were asking if the baby were a boy or girl or the age. It’s a very private matter and it was a tough decision for me to give up on breastfeeding, but I knew it was best for my health and therefore best for my baby’s health. The upside was my husband was able to bond much more quickly with both our girls when I stopped breastfeeding. He picked up feedings that would allow me to get to bed to be rested to get up in the middle of the night. My 82 year-old grandmother so wisely said, “this generation of mothers is so lucky to have so many choices I did not, why is there such pressure to put down someone for making a choice that works best for her and her family?”
Pam is married and her two daughters are now 3 ½ and 7 months old. She works as a consultant and is a stay at home mom.
Story told by Tracy H.
From
Pennsylvania
With the birth of my first child, I was looking forward to breastfeeding exclusively. I was a stay at home mom, which would have made it ideal for breastfeeding. My daughter had jaundice at birth and was put on light therapy at home for her first week. She had to stay under a special ultraviolet light blanket at all times except for feedings. After three days her billirubin level was not dropping fast enough so the pediatrician told me to stop nursing for two days and to formula feed. She was three days old at the time. This worked out and she quickly recovered. However, once she took a bottle she refused to nurse. I struggled for weeks to try to breastfeed, but she would not eat and I was greatly concerned about her. I decided to pump my breast milk and then bottle feed. She was happy to have a bottle and was eating well. This, however, created a great burden for me. Between her feeding schedule and my pumping schedule I was trapped at home. I kept this up for three months. I made the decision to switch to formula so that we could have some normalcy in our lives. It was an emotional decision for me, but I knew it was best for both of us. Charlotte is very healthy and did very well with formula. My second child was breastfed for three months and after a difficult bout of mastitis I also switched her to formula. My third child is now 10 months old and has been breastfed exclusively.
Tracy is married. She has two daughters, ages 5 and 3, and a son, 10 months. She works as the head of accounting for a small firm.
