tagline

Story of the Week


Do you have a story to tell about how you made your choice to feed your baby? Another mom who supported you? A sister who filled you in on the age-old remedy of ace bandages to ease aching breasts? Maybe you remember how you handled the disapproving look or comment from someone who didn't like your choice. Or you found a particular article or Website helpful. Who or what encouraged you? How about when you went back to work? How was your decision impacted then? Did your baby have an allergy or some other special nutritional need?

We can all learn from and support each other. The following stories have been shared by moms who have generously agreed to tell us about their experiences. If you'd like to share your story, simply click on the "Tell Us Your Story" button below.


All stories will be reviewed prior to posting.

Submit your own stories!

View the Stories

There are 40 story posted.

First  < 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 > 


Story told by Caroline Schleappi, The "Columbus Doula"

From Ohio
She has 2 children
Her children are 4 and 16 months years old

I am the mother of two children - a boy who is 4 and a girl who is 16 months. While I was pregnant with my first child, I planned on exclusively breastfeeding. However after a 38-hour labor resulting in a C-Section, I was physically and mentally exhausted. Although I had told the nurses my wishes for feeding the baby, he was frequently given bottles of formula because I was sleeping or because the nurses felt he wasn’t getting enough while on the breast.

We came home 6 days later with hospital grade breast pump and “a plan”. I was to breastfeed and pump. He was to be supplemented with breast milk and formula until my production was up and running. For a couple of days he maintained his weight, but gradually he began to loose weight. We met with lactation consultants and our pediatrician (the specialists). It was determined that I wasn’t producing enough milk and I needed to be on a rigid plan to increase the supply. I was to feed – then pump – then feed him a bottle (which was usually formula, as I was only able to pump 4 to 5 ounces per day). I did this for a week and his weight was still a problem. We once again evaluated our problem with the specialists. The plan was then slightly augmented and I began taking herbal supplements to increase my supply. After taking the supplements for about a week, the amount I was able to pump was actually decreasing and needed I was feeding my son more and more formula.

I went to the specialists in tears. I felt like a feeding machine. Most of my waking hours were spent feeding or trying to feed my baby. At that point I had a moderate case of postpartum depression and I was absolutely exhausted. The lactation consultant listened with concern. She weighed my baby and then had me breastfeed him. She weighed him again and the scale showed no weight gain. I then pumped captured less than ½ ounce. She then told me it was “ok to let go” and “make the best choice for me and my baby”. I had spent countless hours trying to feed my son… many hours talking to specialists and researching the options… spent over $2,000 on pumps, medications and consultations. I went home with a new plan – stop pumping, reduce breast”feeding” and increase bottle-feeding until my son was exclusively bottle-feeding in 7 days. I felt like a failure, but was looking forward to a new chapter in my motherhood journey. A chapter where I could bond with my baby (rather than resent him).

Three days later, when my son was 5 ½ weeks old, my breasts were empty. I was done. I called the lactation consultant and she wasn’t surprised. She then shared why she felt I had such a difficult time feeding – “It could have been your Greave’s Disease (hyperthyroidism) or your traumatic birth (baby posterior, many interventions, 4 hours of pushing, 3 attempts of using the vacuum extractor, C-Section).” If she had shared this with me in previous conversations, maybe I wouldn’t have beaten myself up over this. Maybe I would have chosen to make things easier for myself sooner.

My son did great with bottle-feeding. We had our ups – better sleeping habits, increased mother/baby bonding and weight gain. And downs – lots of spit up, thrush and ear infections. He was gradually taken off the bottle at 12 months.

When I was pregnant with my daughter I started lactating in my 6th month. I was thrilled and thought this postpartum period would be different. Throughout my pregnancy my biggest concern was a repeat of my previous postpartum outcome (severe case of baby blues). My daughter was born after an easy labor resulting from a VBAC (vaginal birth after C-Section). She spent her first 48 hours on the breast – to eat, comfort and bond. At discharge (48 hours after birth), she had lost 15% of her birth weight – making her 5 pounds 15 ounces. Like with my son, we went home with a feeding plan. I was to have her on the breast as much as possible and pump every 4 hours. Four days later, she was 5 pounds 12 ounces. I then needed to expand the plan to include formula supplements.

When she was 2 ½ weeks old we met with a lactation consultant. She weighed my daughter, I fed her and the consultant weighed her again. My daughter’s weight gain from the feeding was scant. The consultant felt that history was going to repeat itself. After reviewing my history and doing a thorough breast exam she was very up front about the reasons she thought I was having these problems – history of low supply, hypothyroidism, flaccid breasts and under-developed breast tissue. I knew I didn’t want to go through the emotional difficulties that I had with my first child… so my daughter continued to be on the breast for 1 more week (mostly for my comfort – to provide more time for bonding) while I supplemented with formula. My daughter began exclusively bottle-feeding at 3 ½ weeks. By 4 weeks she weighed 8 pounds! My daughter is a bottle pro – no thrush, she has not had an ear infection and she is in the 95% for weight.

This is my story as a mother…. In addition to being a mom, I am a Labor Doula, Postpartum Doula, Childbirth Educator and Happiest Baby On The Block Educator. I have helped many women initiate breastfeeding and supported families during nursing challenges. I have provided breastfeeding education. All of my certifying organizations focus on breastfeeding support and provide “fixes” to breastfeeding problems.

As I began bottle-feeding, I did not feel like I had someone or a group to turn to for reassurance and support. Most of my friends seemed disappointed and it seemed they thought I didn’t try hard enough to breastfeed. My feelings of guilt and inadequacy surfaced almost daily – as my family, friends and collogues questioned me about my choices for bottle-feeding.

I finally realized that bottle-feeding my children deserves the respect and support that is out there for breastfeeding families. As a doula I tell my clients that I will provide evidence-based education (pros & cons) on a topic and then they need to make a choice. I will then support them in their choice 100%… I will stand with them in their decision to ensure they feel empowered in their choice. I needed someone to “doula” or support me through my decision to bottle-feed. It would have been so nice to talk with other families about my feelings and get advice about some of the issues we were having.

Thank God for websites like these where we can share our stories and support other women!

- The "Columbus Doula"

Story told by C. F.

From California
She has 1 child
Her child is 2 years old

I've been nursing my son for 2 years and 10 months now. This has been such a rewarding blessing in the relationship between the two of us.

While pregnant, I read about the benefits of nursing and it sounded like such a wonderful thing for both mom and baby that I was determined to try it. I'd never known, seen, or heard of anybody I knew who had breastfed, but the literature was very compelling. Some of the appeal to me:
- nutrition for the baby
- boosting baby's immunity
- mother/baby bonding
- how natural it is

Learning to breastfeed was difficult and painful, particularly the first few weeks. My son and I were both frustrated. I'm sure he was hungry and ooooooh was I sore (and cracked and bleeding). But I'm so glad we didn't give up, because over time, I healed and *both* my son and I dramatically improved our techniques. A fantastic resource for us was the lactation support services at our hospital. I took a breastfeeding class from them while pregnant, and they encouraged us to call or visit with questions when the time came. I didn't think I would really take them up on it, but they turned out to be exactly what I needed, especially their breastfeeding support group. Sitting there in a circle with other moms and babies all going through the same thing was incredibly helpful and incredibly satisfying. At home with my extended family (which includes nobody who has ever breastfed), I definitely did not have the bond or support or understanding I so desperately needed. And in that circle, WOW was it ever a relief to just let go of the modesty and flat out talk about our bodies and our struggles and how to work our way through this steep learning curve with folks who could relate. (By the way, one of the most fortunate lessons I happened to pick up in this group was how to nurse lying down in bed. Thank heavens we finally figured that out. Comfort is key.)

When my grandma had children, she was told/convinced she was unable to successfully breastfeed. Based on what I've read over the years, I'm skeptical that was true. When my mom had children, breastfeeding was not the "in" trend. Formula was considered nutritionally superior. When I shared with my mom and grandma that I aimed to try breastfeeding my newborn, they initially quietly respected that choice, but every obstacle that followed brought on the telling and retelling of their experience/choice. I understand why their backgrounds led them to their conclusions, but it was nonetheless very frustrating to not be able to get support from the two of them. As a result, I think our relationships are not as open as they were. I began to feel uncomfortable sharing any concerns with them (nursing challenges, questioning sufficient weight-gain, colic), because they'd instantly begin urging me to give my baby formula. While I was not completely opposed to the idea, I really wanted to give the breastfeeding a decent shot. I knew that if I started supplementing with formula, my milk supply would likely decrease and that was the exact opposite of what I was hoping to achieve.

So when my son was 2 months, I turned elsewhere for support. I ran across a free local seminar, held weekly, for moms of babies up to 6 months. They brought in speakers each week on common topics of interest and included time each week for Q&A with a nurse and lactation consultant. While at this seminar, I met dozens of new moms going through the same things and we started meeting outside the seminar several other times per week to visit at each other's homes or parks or to go for walks, etc. We also established a private online message board (using Yahoo Groups) to support one another and this was IMMENSELY valuable to us all. We ultimately formed a lot of really close bonds and a very strong mom's group. It was a very comfortable peer group, as most of us were breastfeeding, and with babies that were 2 and 3 month olds, we spent most of our get-togethers sitting somewhere and nursing. :)

Over the subsequent months, many moms returned to the workforce. And at about 6 months, there were a handful of moms that essentially had fulfilled their planned nursing quota. Then there were a few that called it quits when teeth made an appearance and the biting commenced. (Yes, that was a challenge, but I'm so glad I didn't let it discourage me.) And 12 months was a huge cliff with the majority of remaining moms deciding that it was time to wean completely, mostly because of the input of a book or a doctor. So at 12 months, those of us in the group still nursing became a small minority. I was lucky to develop close friendships with 3 other women who continued to nurse and we got together so often, that it honestly felt completely normal to me to be nursing a toddler. Our children are now all almost 3 years old and only one of them no longer nurses and that's only because his little brother is a full-time nurser. ;)

I remember the reaction of many moms who have since learned I hadn't stopped breastfeeding at one of the "traditional"/"magic" milestones. They were the ones who assumed everybody stopped at 12 months max. They would ask when I specifically planned to stop. And some honestly were baffled when I explained that I consciously had no weaning plan or deadline. I guess in the back of my mind, I always kind of figured it would work itself out and that over time, my son would gradually nurse less and less. And in fact, that is how it happens to be going.

Over the second year, my son's nursing frequency and style changed a lot. He was on solids and we had introduced cow's milk, but he still nursed often. But he also understood me better and was cooperative and discreet when I needed him to be. I was not ashamed to nurse in public at all, but I understand that not everyone approves of nursing, much less nursing a toddler, so I definitely didn't aim to flaunt it. As part of my son's physical development, he went through a quirky phase of acrobatic newfangled nursing positions, where he'd choose to climb up me, while latched on, until he was practically upside down with his feet up in my face. We dealt with this and he learned to save this much desired position for the at-home nursings. (It was awkward and amusing to me and my husband, but now that it's over, I kinda miss it; Kids grow up too fast, it's true.) We also enjoyed many nursing sessions sitting in the car in parking lots before or after outings. When he was an infant, I invested in a handful of really comfortable nursing tank tops that made access quick and convenient and they served me quite well. As my son got older, the nursing frequency and duration decreased (all of his own volition... I never discouraged him).

I count my blessings and am ever-so-grateful that I've been fortunate enough to be a stay-at-home mom. Long before children were a realistic probability, I knew staying home with my children was my dream. I didn't know it at the time, but one of the benefits of being a stay-at-home mom turned out to be that it was relatively easy to nurse on demand. I knew many moms who worked and pumped in the bathroom during breaks and while doable for the determined, that sounds incredibly challenging. I didn't buy a pump until my son was 5 months old and only because I was worried about a falling milk supply. After a few days of use, I increased my supply, and haven't taken the pump out since. Nursing a human is soooo much more productive and gratifying than nursing a machine. :) (But yes, I acknowledge it's a luxury that not everyone can afford. Again, I am so grateful to have been in this position, and I don't take it one bit for granted.)

I am grateful for my husband's support. He hasn't pushed me towards or away from breastfeeding or extended breastfeeding. He trusts my decisions and desires. I'm especially appreciative that he does so despite some criticism from his mother.

For the past several months, my son nurses twice daily for a few minutes. He generally climbs into our bed to nurse a few minutes after waking in the morning. And the final step in his bedtime routine is a few minutes nursing on the sofa after a book. A few weeks ago he started preschool and that has disrupted our morning routine, which he doesn't mind because we're in a hurry to get out of the house to do something he looks forward to. And I have more evenings away from home these days (evening grocery runs or classes, occasional get-togethers with friends, date nights with my husband) which disrupts our evening nursing routine, but as long as I warn my son in advance that "we won't be able to have mama milk tonight", he's totally fine with it.

I am now 7 weeks pregnant with my second child. Breastfeeding has become uncomfortable, which I expected (and anxiously awaited as a sign of a healthy, viable pregnancy), but it's not unbearable. The bigger problem is that now that I'm nauseous around the clock, I frankly am not in the mood to be climbed on by a toddler. I want to sit alone, very still, and sip gingerale instead. :) But we'll see how it goes. I'm completely open to the idea of tandem nursing a toddler and a newborn if my toddler is indeed interested, but I'm not pushing in either direction.

Getting pregnant with a second child didn't go quite how I envisioned it. My son was 18 months old before I got my period back. I know it's possible to get pregnant before your period resumes, but it didn't happen for us. We stalled for a few months on trying to get pregnant after that for scheduling reasons... because I didn't want to risk being too pregnant or with too young a newborn to easily get across country to attend my only brother's wedding. When we finally got pregnant (right after my son turned 2), it didn't go well. I miscarried at 10 weeks. That was particularly hard because those who knew I was still breastfeeding and weren't especially supportive of it took this opportunity to remind me of their disapproval and their theories about the nursing/miscarriage relationship. By the way, I am absolutely convinced there was in this case no relationship between nursing and miscarriage. But it's always hard to hear disapproval and discouragement from the people you love, especially when you're already feeling down. Today we announced the pregnancy to our families and their unsolicited advice to stop nursing has begun again, this time with ammo about cultural beliefs based on "centuries of Chinese wisdom" and the bad karma and health that could ensue if we continue. Sigh. (Yknow, sometimes it's actually nice that both our families live on the other side of the country. :-)

I truly respect every mother's personal choice about whether or not to breastfeed and if so, for how long to do so. And I truly appreciate all of those who have respected our choices.

As with all parenting decisions, I believe there are *many* "right ways" to go about things. And I've also come to believe that there is enough literature and there are enough experts/advocates in the world these days that you can find both to back up just about ANY parenting belief you have, be it about breastfeeding, sleep training, discipline, what have you. The experts disagree just like friends and family and neighbors and folks you run into on the street. So you gather up the opinions you care about and do your own research and in the end, you just pick what makes sense and feels right to you. And, hey, if that doesn't work, you can change your mind and still have plenty of literature and experts to back you. This breastfeeding "journey" has definitely taught me a lot.

Summary of resources that I've really appreciated:
- the hospital lactation support service and peer support group
- the new mom's seminar (at a different local hospital) that often featured a lactation consultant as a Q&A speaker
- the mom's group that sprouted from the friendships that grew during the above seminar and continued with a flourishing message-board of online support and local get-togethers
- a supportive husband
- www.kellymom.com
- an online support group I came across that is specifically for mothers of nursing toddlers

Story told by Laura Cook-Crotty

From Washington
She has 1 child
Her child is 11 months years old

Hi!

My name is Laura Cook-Crotty and I just had my story published by NEWSWEEK.COM. Please read about my take on 'feeding freedom' at http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/19231313/site/newsweek/
Of course 'breast is best', but I say 'Formula is Fine' too!

Story told by Sarah M

From Massachusetts
She has 1 child
Her child is 1 years old

I received two cans of powdered formula in the mail a month or so before I had my daughter (I assume the formula manufacturer got my name and address from the hospital where I planned to give birth). I was committed to breastfeeding, but thought it wouldn't be a bad idea to keep those cans on hand, in case of emergency.

Flash forward a few weeks....

My husband, baby, and I arrive home. Everything has gone relatively smoothly...a fairly fast labor and a healthy baby. However, I am finding the breastfeeding very difficult. My milk hasn't come in yet and I am unsure if I am getting the baby to latch properly. She sure doesn't seem sated after I try to feed her. Every time I get her close to my breasts, she grabs on frantically, and then, after wrestling with me for a few futile minutes, cries out in frustration at the lack of milk. Although this amazing energy and incredible appetite will turn out to be signature aspects of her personality, I do not know this yet. I just feel helpless and overwhelmed (and very sore), trying to feed her for seemingly endless hour or 45-minute stretches.



Finally, when both of us are in tears, my husband intervenes. Why not just give her a bottle of formula? I balk, reciting what I've learned about "nipple confusion." I tell him I worry about being a bad mother if I "give in." Still, I know I need to sleep a little and our daughter needs to eat. My husband prepares the bottle. She sucks it down greedily. Minutes later she is full and happy–she literally looks drunk. We all drift off to sleep.



I continue to persevere with breastfeeding. Within a day or so, the milk comes in and we settle into a routine. I go on to breastfeed her for more than a year. But, I also carry a bottle of formula where ever I go and leave a can with her day care provider. Formula accounts for only one feeding a day–if that. Yet, knowing that it is an option while Lillian continues to reap all the benefits from breastfeeding frees me from feeling like I need to pump constantly and makes going back to work easier. I also find that a bottle of formula is handy in the occasional situation in which I feel uncomfortable breastfeeding.



Incidentally, our midwife later pointed out to us that if our daughter could handle a pacifier–which the nurses in the hospital gave her–she could handle the nipple of a bottle. No nipple confusion there!

Sarah is married and is self-employed as a writer and researcher. Her daughter is now 14 months old.


Story told by Angela

From Vermont
She has 1 child
Her child is 1 years old

Interestingly enough, I don't think my husband and I really talked about
whether or not I would breastfeed until we started getting free formula
samples in the mail, and at the doctors office. With each free sample, we
were also educated about the value of breastfeeding. My husband, though
supportive of my choice, felt strongly that I should try to breastfeed,
given the benefits to the baby. I honestly didn't feel passionate about
either decision until I gave birth to my son. Due to a strange rash, he
was rushed to NICU. Later he would become jaundiced and spend his time
under the bili lights unless he was being fed. There wasn't anything I
wouldn't do, or try to do, for my baby.

I was fortunate that my son had an excellent latch, but it was 5 whole days
before my milk came in. Five long, emotional days. I put so much pressure
on myself to feed him. I felt like a failure, like I was starving him.
Fortunately we stayed in the hospital that week where I received so much
lactation support from the nurses there. If I had been home and on my own,
I think I may have given up. Not because of a free can of formula, but
because my baby was hungry and I was so discouraged.

I continued to breastfeed my baby for the next 3 months, with a whole lot
of support from other breastfeeding moms. It wasn't easy. My son was
diagnosed with acid reflux after crying and crying and crying at my breast.
I had to watch my diet and really struggled with whether or not I could
continue breastfeeding. I collected different samples of formula, knowing
that I'd have to try various kinds to find one that would be gentle enough
on his stomach. I kept them in the cupboard for emergency use.

When I went back to work, my son went on a nursing strike. I sought help,
but nothing I did, no amount of nursing, would encourage him to latch on
anymore. My supply started to drop. My anxiety increased. Feeding time
became a battle. Again, he cried at my breast, and to be honest, I cried
everytime I tried to put him there. His weight was still within the growth
charts, but low, and he wasn't gaining as he should. The pediatrician
recommended I consider supplementing with formula. I collected another can
from her and added it to my cupboard.

Then I began exclusively pumping. Lactation specialists told me that my
body would probably never be able to produce enough milk without the
stimulation of my baby. At first, it didn't. Thankfully I had enough
breastmilk in the freezer to supplement through that time period. I pumped
myself ragged. Until I had enough milk to take him through his first
birthday. This was a huge commitment, one I may never be able repeat. Looking back, I often wonder how I
did it. There were days I felt so burdened by it. How much more quality
time could I have had with my son if I had supplemented with formula? How
much more relaxed of a mother could I have been? How many nights might I
have bonded with my son, instead of a pump?

The choice to breastfeed was one of the most emotional decisions I made as
a new mother. I could not have done it without the support of friends. I
could not have stuck with it, if it was not my choice.

My husband and I will have another child someday. If someone offers me a
free sample of formula when I'm pregnant, I'll take it. I can't honestly
say I know what I'll do, but I do know that a free can of formula in the
cupboard isn't going to decide for me. I'm thankful for free literature
and free formula. I'm thankful that I can be empowered to make the choice
to do what is best for my family.

Angela is married. Her son is now 13 months old and she is employed in the healthcare field.

First  < 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 > 

Tell Your Story

Verification:


Click here if you can't see the image

Please enter the text you see inside the graphic to post your comment:
We need your email address for verification, but it won't be published.

powered by eNilsson