There are 41 story posted.
Story told by Tiffany
From
California She has
1 child Her child is
4 months years old
I have a four month old and just recently stopped breast feeding. Before I was pregnant, I was squeamish about breast feeding. The idea of it made me uneasy, but once I was pregnant I changed my mind and really wanted to breast feed my child. After 39 hours of labor, 3 hours of pushing and an emergency c-section, my daughter was born with an infection and I also had an infection. She was taken immediately to the NICU, I wasn't even allowed to hold her because we both had such high fevers. She remained in the NICU for 8 days and was started on formula by the nurses before I could even object. My milk took 5 days to come in and when it did, there wasn't very much of it. We continued to nurse and bottle feed at the NICU, but anyone who has had a NICU baby can relate to the extreme awkwardness of nursing in a sterile, cold room full of babies, hospital staff and other parents. I am a very reserved person and as a new mom whipping out my breast in such a public place was far from ideal for me. All I kept telling myself was my baby is sick and she needs my milk.
Once we were able to bring her home, I continued to try to breast feed but my milk production still wasn't much even after consulting with a lactation specialist and trying every remedy the pediatrician recommended (herbal supplements, pumping in-between, etc...) I would have slept upside down on my head if would have help. For a girl who didn't want to breastfeed, I was determined. However, the milk never really came gushing out. Additionally, my daughter got frustrated with my lack of flow. She would hit me, scratch me and pull at her own hair. It was heart wrenching to see a tiny little baby get so frustrated at almost every feeding. I felt helpless because I couldn't help her. I so wanted more milk, but it never came.
We couldn't let her starve so we continued to supplement with formula. I was very adamant about breast always being first then bottle. A few feedings she never took the bottle and boy I felt accomplished for that two hours until the next feeding. I was always hopeful that someday we would be on breast milk only. Even when I was exhausted, I still got up in the middle of the night to give her breast first; it would have been easier at time to let my husband give her a bottle.
As the weeks went on became easier, especially because she tolerated the formula well and switched between breast feeding and bottle feeding like it was one in the same. She didn't know any different.
Then, just as the breast feeding and bottle feeding became a good routine, I had to return to work. I began to pump, but since I never had abundant milk supply I never could get enough pumped fast enough for her feedings. I only ever pumped 1 oz from both breasts in 30 minutes. By this time she was eating 6 oz at each feeding, it would take me 3 hours to pump one bottle. Not really time constructive at work. Plus, I travel for my job and had to spend nights away from my baby starting within 3 days of my return. I pumped on my trips but because of new airline policies I could never take the milk with me. It was like throwing liquid gold down the drain and I would cry at night in my hotel room for not being able to give my breast milk to my baby.
I think she picked up on my cues and one month after my return to work and seven overnight trips later, she just weaned herself off the breast. She won't take it any longer. She takes the milk if I pump it, but has no interest in feeding from the breast. Initially, I felt rejected but now I think she was trying to help me by saying, "It's okay Mom, we tried so hard with this breastfeeding thing, but I'm still growing big and strong and am a happy baby - I'll be fine."
It’s been a long road for me with breastfeeding and emotionally draining. I feel if we didn't have the NICU experience and I didn't have to return to work it would have been a different story, but I don't feel bad about how it turned out because my daughter and I fought through it together. We are strong women who can take the curve balls in life and we adjust. I learned from her. My tiny little girl got pushed through all the frustrations, all the while trying to make it easier on her mommy.
Story told by Kaitlin Volland
From
Kansas She has
1 child Her child is
1 years old
I was ready one year ago to breast feed the doctors had told me that they were goining to induce me at 12pm on Friday. So that morning I got up and pumped to help my milk come in and off to the hospital I went not knowing what was going to be in store for me that day. We went in and they started everything to induce me. Everything was fine the first 3 hours then my baby girl started going in to distress. So for the next 8 hours I was so scared until she flat lined. They took me in for an emergency C-section and Mia was delivered and I kissed her and she was taken. She was not brought to me for 12 hours then I tried to feed her she could not latch on which is to be expected at only 4 lbs 14 oz. We had to feed her with a suringe for 3 weeks. We later found out she had a conginital heart defect. She has since had 1 surgery and just turned a year old!! I was very sad when I could not breast feed-- the horrible stories that your baby won't be as healthy or as smart. But really my daughter can do everything any breast fed baby can and she is very smart she knows how to work the remote better than I do. So here's to all the mothers who make the decision to not breast feed. It's your choice and with a doctor you can design the best feeding plan for you and your child!!!
Story told by Stacey Kannenberg
From
WI She has
2 children Her children are
7, 9 years old
I was determined to breast feed and I will be honest it was a struggle the first time around. I had to fight with a nurse in the hospital not to give our baby a bottle. I had to overcome some of my own family breast feeding objections and I had an unexpected close family member die while I was in the hospital awaiting Heidi’s arrival. My milk was even slower due to the grief of death and Heidi came down with nursing jaundice. But I was so determined and she nursed for 4 months and then she weaned herself off. I was battle worn and ready for our next baby, Megan. It was so much easier the second time around. Looking back I now realize that grief hurt my milk production with Heidi. I never had much luck pumping with either baby, but I so miss those feeding times holding those little babies and nursing them. It was such an awesome experience!!!!
Story told by Patricia
From
MA She has
2 children Her children are
11; 6 years old
I am still amazed when I look back 11 years to when my son was born--I had a terrible delivery that ended after 16 hours of labor and 4 hours of pushing in an emergency C-section...the hospital staff were wonderful in all ways but one.
I started breastfeeding, and had difficulty--my little baby wasn't latching on, and I was very worried that he wasn't getting enough nourishment. The nurses helped, and a consultant was called in. After three days, he became jaundiced, and had to be placed naked in a light box. I was only allowed to hold him for short periods of time--especially to breastfeed. I was traumatized as a first-time mom; my instincts told me to cuddle him, but the medical folks said no.
Because he screamed unless I held him, I asked my husband to bring in a pacifier (which really helped to soothe him). But no, the breastfeeding consultant insisted I dispose of it because it would interfere with his feeding.
As if this were not all difficult enough, he was having blood drawn 2-3 times per day.
The staff finally let me go home with him, a portable "bili-blanket" to continue "treating" the jaundice, an appointment with a breastfeeding consultant, and a promise to take him to the children's hospital twice per day for blood draws.
I was thrilled to be home, and to hold my baby (who was the color of a cheeto because of the jaundice), but extremely nervous about the jaundice that didn't seem to be going away. The breastfeeding was disastrous--he would squirm and arch his back. But I followed instructions and did not give him a pacifier OR a bottle, except with glucose water. After three more days of blood draws with no improvement and the doctor telling me they would need to re-admit him, I was at the end of my rope. I arrived with him for a blood draw (this time with an older nurse I had never met before). When she told me they would have to draw from his feet because there was nowhere else due to all the previous draws, I fell apart and started sobbing (very much not a me-thing to do). She gently asked me if I was breastfeeding, and I shared all the frustrations. Then, she said the words that changed everything..."I am not supposed to say this to you, but you know if you gave him a bottle or two, it would solve all this. He's just not getting enough into him."
My response was: "You're kidding, right?" She shook her head, no.
Now I am a well-educated person who is pretty good at advocating for myself, but somehow being on the unfamiliar territory of new motherhood, I had become dependent on the advice of the doctors and nurses to whom I had entrusted my son's healthcare. I was flabbergasted that in all the time since my baby had been jaundiced, through all the screaming in the light box, through my tears of frustration at his not getting better, but worse, NOBODY BOTHERED TO MENTION that simply bottlefeeding him would solve the problem.
I took him home that day, bought some formula on the way, and started bottle feeding. He went at it as one would expect of an infant who'd had very little nourishment.Within 12 hours, his blood was almost healthy; within a day, he was pink instead of orange, and we were told not to return for any further blood draws.
It was a very happy ending to a difficult time, and I have to say I still feel some bitterness when I look at the photo of him in the hospital bassinette. Displayed prominently on the bassinette is a sign that reads, "I'm a Breastfed Baby!"
Needless to say, I learned my lesson through that experience. When my daughter was born five years later, I began breastfeeding again. When she developed jaundice after a few days, I didn't wait. She got a bottle right away.
And, by the way, both my children are healthy and intelligent (thank you!).
Story told by Lisa
From
NJ She has
3 children Her children are
8yrs, 6yrs, 3yrs years old
I have 3 children and was only successful at breastfeeding 1. My first was very sick and could not tolerate my breast milk. We then had to feed her "gold in a can" a very expensive formula. Trust me, if I could have breastfed, I would have. My second was born without incident and I was able to breastfeed quite easily. The side effects of having babies made my breasts grow a cup size with each child and despite losing all of the baby weight they remained larger and larger. We decided to stop at 2 kids and so I decided to have a breast reduction because I was a 32E and my back hurt every waking moment. My 3rd blessing came as a surprise but unfortunately the surgery blocked my milk ducts and I was literally starving my daughter. Bottom line, my kids social and cognitive abilities do not seem to be dependent on the formula used. It's the environment filled with consistency and encouragement that my husband and I strive for.
It seems as though the breastfeeding vs. bottle feeding issue gives otherwise polite people opportunity to weigh in even though the decision should be left to the individual. A negative comment on a mother's choice to bottle feed with formula is like telling a smoker on the street that smoking is bad for you and that they should stop. My daughter was born with an omphalocele. This means that her liver, intestines and bowel were in a membrane outside of her body. She spent the first month of her life in the NICU and underwent 2 surgeries during this time. The first two weeks of her life I spent pumping and freezing breast milk as she was given nutrients through a central line. My daughter lay lifeless in a medically induced coma and the only power I had was to pump and freeze so that she would become nourished upon her awakening. The day came where I was finally able to hold my baby and feed her my milk. She was unable to tolerate it and began losing weight. They would not discharge her until she began gaining. This meant that we had to figure out what formula she could tolerate. Trial and error. Thanks to the samples in the hospital we were able to find the right formula for her, she gained weight, and was discharged 31 days after her birth. My daughter is now 8 years old, thriving, doing fantastic in school, and will always be my miracle baby. I believe it is the mother's right to decide what is best for her baby. Eliminating samples and creating an atmosphere filled with negativism because of your decision is not healthy. Life is hard enough without guilting people into submission. State of mind for the parents of a new baby is ultimately the best environment and if formula plays a role in that, so be it. Agreed. Don't ask me, don't make me feel guilty because you don't know the whole story.
