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Reposting censored thread: "It is not about freedom of choi

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songbh
User offline. Last seen 1 year 41 weeks ago. Offline
Joined: 2007-06-19

#1 2007-07-02 16:44:57
Health Professional
New member
It is not about freedom of choice.
When one talks about freedom of choice in infant feeding, it implies there is only a slight difference between breastfeeding and artificial formula feeding.
This is where you have it wrong. THERE IS A HUGE DIFFERENCE between breastfeeding and artificial formula feeding. That's spelled H-U-G-E.
The gap between the two is so large that it is not simply a matter of choice. Mothers need to make an honest effort to breastfeed. Rarely is breastfeeding contraindicated; and in most of those cases, one should consider donor breastmilk. Artificial formula feeding should only be used as a feeding of last resort. That's how big the difference is between the two types of feeding.
Yes, a mother who has to feed her infant artificial formula should not feel guilty; but neither should we act like the differences between the two are so slight that it only boils down to just a matter of choice.
My suggestion for future moms is to empower yourself through education. Do not be bamboozled by the flashy marketing efforts of the big formula companies. Education will provide you with all the real physiological, pyschological, and social reasons you should breastfeed. But best of all, just check out the faces of mother and infant during a feeding. Check out the faces of a mother and child being fed artificial formula. Compare those faces with the faces of a mother and child being fed breast milk. Check out those faces and then try to tell me it's only about freedom of choice.
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#2 Yesterday 06:36:24
andrea
New member
Re: It is not about freedom of choice.
Dear "Health Professional": It's ALL about freedom of choice. I CHOSE not to breastfeed because frankly I think it's animalistic. Oh no, my CHOICE of that word is now going to get all the lactation-nazis after me! Yes, the lactivists' greatest desire is to FORCE every new mother to breastfeed her baby. Well, crucify me but I didn't and now I have a 4 month old very healthy bundle of joy. I was able to go back to work without all the inconveniences of pumping and my husband has been able to fully participate in the feeding experience. And despite what you and the narrow-minded lactivists would have mothers believe, I know that formula is safe for my baby and plays a vital role in infant nutrition.
I am just so tired -- and outraged -- at the "either-or" attitude/approach you and others in your field take. I just feel like you all don't live in the real world. Breast milk is certainly the preferred first-food, but baby formula is an outstanding second-best, and mothers like me -- who CHOOSE not to nurse -- are so lucky to have a safe, satisfying, nutrititious alternative for their babies. Think back just 60 years ago -- my grandmother fed her babies evaporated milk mixed w/ Karo syrup! And today, many of my new-mom friends are doing both, using formula as a supplement. It's not either-or folks!! And no, we weren't forced to do this by big bad formula cos. and marketing practices, which people like you love to blame. All of us formula-users are not just idiots who haven't become educated enough (in your minds), or I guess you think we're just plain stupid. In my case my decision was reinforced by my doctor -- and my husband, and my friends. And now my baby boy!
There, I got that off my chest (pun intended!) and I don't feel guilty in the least!
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#3 Yesterday 11:59:15
Erin
Member
Re: It is not about freedom of choice.
andrea wrote:
There, I got that off my chest (pun intended!) and I don't feel guilty in the least!
Maybe you don't feel guilty, but you sure sound angry. Really, really angry. at what? At people who want better education out there? Of course, if you would have felt terrible had you breastfed because you'd feel "animalistic," well, then it's probably better for you and your baby emotionally and mentally that you are formula-feeding.
You say formula is perfectly safe... but honestly, there have been many cases where formula is unsafe - numerous recalls from contamination to glass shards in the cans, to the fact that cans can have pesticide residue on them from storage and need to be thoroughly washed (although this info is rarely shared with moms who use formula - it's not printed on the cans). Yes, formula is usually "safe," but not always. These are not "scare tactics," they are just the truth. Sometimes formula is not safe.
And while I wouldn't call them "big bad formula companies," they certainly do use their marketing strategies to try to get more moms to use their products - which does cause more women to stop breastfeeding. They are "just trying to sell their product," but at the same time, they *know* what that does to breastfeeding relationships. The hospital samples are purely unethical tactics they use to try to increase profits.
I don't know if you refer to other moms who chose to breastfeed as "animalistic," but it does sound derogatory, so I hope not. Although, we are animals who lactate, so I could also choose to take it at face value... yes, I am like an animal (mammal, specifically) because I feed my babies with my naturally lactating breasts.
You made a choice that many women make - you weighed emotional, mental, and physical aspects and decided that the emotional issues it would cause in your relationship with your son outweighed the physical health benefits for both of you. And that's fine - as long as you made the choice yourself after having access to all the accurate information about breastfeeding and weighing it all carefully. People in favor of breastfeeding do not want to "make" everyone nurse their babies... we just want people to all have all of the information before making their choice.
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#4 Yesterday 12:41:17
songbh
Member
Re: It is not about freedom of choice.
Andrea, welcome to the forums, and thanks for sharing your viewpoint. I'm glad you don't feel guilty -- as a breastfeeding advocate I have zero interest in women's guilt or non-guilt about breastfeeding. I have no interest in picking apart any individual woman's decision about infant feeding or the reasons she may have had, or the reasons she may offer, for that decision. It's your business how you feed your baby and why you chose as you did. And of course I'm glad to hear that your sweet baby boy is happy and thriving.
My concern is with how the larger societal institutions (including the medical system and the formula industry, but not limited to them) influence women to make the choices that they do. If you are the rare individual whose free will and resolve are impervious to influence from advertising, expert advice, economic structures, and cultural forces, then my hat is off to you -- most of us aren't built that way, and study after study proves that these various institutions and practices DO influence most women's choices. So if you are sure you weren't influenced by any of the anti-breastfeeding messages out there, then take a step back and relax, because quite frankly, we're not talking to or about you.
On the other hand, in your own post, you wrote:
andrea wrote:
I CHOSE not to breastfeed because frankly I think it's animalistic. ... In my case my decision was reinforced by my doctor ...
And therein, I respectfully suggest, lies the problem.
Why did your doctor "reinforce" your decision not to breastfeed on the grounds that breastfeeding is animalistic? Why did your doctor not work a bit harder to provide you with the most accurate information available, including the fact that breastfeeding is the biological norm for our species and that not breastfeeding introduces unnecessary risk to your baby's health? Why did your doctor fail to question your choice of an inferior food for your baby when normal food (your breastmilk) might well have been available?
You said your doctor "reinforced" your choice not to breastfeed. Did you have a conversation about infant feeding in which you said, "I won't breastfeed -- I think it's animalistic" and your doctor nodded and said, "Why yes, I agree -- breastfeeding _is_ animalistic!" ?? That seems unlikely. So, if you don't mind sharing some more about your experience, could you tell us how your doctor reinforced your decision not to breasteed? What did s/he say or do to convey that your decision not to breastfeed was the right one for your family?
Also, of course, I'm very curious about why you care what your doctor thought about it at all, since you freely made the choice all by yourself and weren't influenced by anyone in so doing.
Speak truth to power. (Quaker saying)
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#5 Yesterday 14:19:46
Erin
Member
Re: It is not about freedom of choice.
As I thought about it more and read your post, songbh, I thought about how our culture and society may have some influence on causing some women to view breastfeeding as "animalistic." Obviously, the first humans didn't think it was animalistic (at least not in a negative way that made them not want to do it), or none of us would be here today. Our culture must, in some ways, contribute to that feeling. Therefore, culture *is* a large influence, and one that formula companies can use to their advantage. Of course more people will turn to their product if they view breastfeeding as "icky" or "subhuman" or "animalistic." So... would this "freedom to choose" also include the need to be educated about biological norms and cultural impressions? If we really want to have all the information to make an informed choice, maybe this is something that should be included? Something like, "You may see breastfeeding as gross, but it has been done since the beginning of time, it is the natural way we were designed to feed our babies, and in our society, we have a lot of sexual stigmas attached to breasts... it causes many of our viewpoints to be influenced when we think about our bodies and their natural functions... blah blah and blah." Just thinking out loud here...
Personally, I'm stubborn, and if I feel like I have a certain viewpoint just because society causes me to see it that way, then I try to fight against it, lol! But I can see that it is hard to look at something objectively when there are other forces that influence us.
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#6 Yesterday 14:58:09
songbh
Member
Re: It is not about freedom of choice.
Erin wrote:
So... would this "freedom to choose" also include the need to be educated about biological norms and cultural impressions? If we really want to have all the information to make an informed choice, maybe this is something that should be included? Something like, "You may see breastfeeding as gross, but it has been done since the beginning of time, it is the natural way we were designed to feed our babies, and in our society, we have a lot of sexual stigmas attached to breasts... it causes many of our viewpoints to be influenced when we think about our bodies and their natural functions... "
Yes, absolutely! Imagine if the standard health education curriculum included information on breastfeeding, with precisely that message: breastfeeding is normal, this is how human bodies are designed to work, the cultural stigma might discourage women, so here is the accurate information that will help you understand why some people feel negatively and how to counter that criticism.
This could be part of several different aspects of health ed: nutrition, puberty, sexuality, family/parenting skills. The basics of breastfeeding should be taught to both boys and girls as an integral part of understanding how human bodies work and what they need to thrive.
Speak truth to power. (Quaker saying)
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#7 Yesterday 18:55:16
Erin
Member
Re: It is not about freedom of choice.
songbh wrote:
This could be part of several different aspects of health ed: nutrition, puberty, sexuality, family/parenting skills. The basics of breastfeeding should be taught to both boys and girls as an integral part of understanding how human bodies work and what they need to thrive.
Yes, we're so scared about talking about anything that may even be considered to be sexual - that is, talking about it factually and to teach our children about the way our bodies work - yet, we are surrounded by images of sex in the media, so that our views of sexuality and bodily functions become skewed. We're only comfortable with this skewed version of our bodies, which is really strange when you think about it!
I have heard many women say regarding women nursing in public: "Do it somewhere else - I don't want to have to explain THAT to my seven year old!" Of course, it is their right to explain whatever they wish to their children and not explain other things, but maybe if more people didn't act like it was something"dirty" for kids to see... maybe we'd start to see a change in the skewed way that sex is perceived in our culture?
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#8 Yesterday 19:39:31
songbh
Member
Re: It is not about freedom of choice.
Erin wrote:
I have heard many women say regarding women nursing in public: "Do it somewhere else - I don't want to have to explain THAT to my seven year old!"
Yes, when I hear this, I just feel so puzzled ... what is there to explain? Humans are mammals; by definition, we nurse our young. This is how our bodies are designed to work -- this is why women lactate as part of their reproductive cycle. In my experience, children are the easiest people to explain that to in a matter-of-fact, no-big-deal way.
The fact that some women can know that breastfeeding is best but feel so repulsed by it because of its "animalistic" character really underscores the extent to which this is a cultural problem. I mean, animals including humans also reproduce through sexual intercourse (at least in most cases; of course some beautiful babies come to wonderful parents through more technological means). But how many contemporary women announce proudly that they would never have sex because they consider it "animalistic?" Our culture pushes overt female sexuality SO HARD, in SO MANY unrelated contexts -- that particular "animalism" is apparently great, perhaps because it is useful for selling products. But breastfeeding is commonly stigmatized as impolite, crude, shameful, on the grounds that it is animalistic. That's some really interesting picking and choosing in our culture, isn't it?
By the way, in case andrea is reading this -- I'm actually not "after" you for using that word (nor, for that matter, am I trying to force anyone to breastfeed, and while we're on the topic, to call breastfeeding advocates "nazis" is to liken them to the worst genocidal sociopaths in human history, and that is simply mean-spirited and horrible along with being ridiculous). Your post is an example of attitudes that are very, very common in the United States, and so we're having a discussion about that attitude -- we're not slamming you. I'm glad you wrote the above post, because it is sparking an interesting discussion, and I would welcome further sharing of your feelings and thoughts.
Speak truth to power. (Quaker saying)
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#9 Today 11:22:23
andrea
New member
Re: It is not about freedom of choice.
wow--all of you have raised very good pts. that have got me thinking about our society and culture. and THANK YOU SO MUCH for not attacking me. This really is a productive, positive discussion and I appreciate that very much. and I'm so sorry about my use of the "nazi" word -- pls. accept my apologies; I didn't mean anyone in this forum but I was referring to some of the zealots out there (and no they are not "nazis" in any sense of that word).
I'm glad to see you all commenting about our society and attitudes toward nursing -- that's a long uphill battle to change traditional feelings and attitudes but it's seems to be a good exchange that should be carried into other chats and forums on the Internet as well (because as we all know, the Internet is becoming a primary information source for many people and that will only keep growing).
and to answer someone's question about my doctor's involvement -- this was my GP not my OB/GYN but I've depended on him, and trusted him, for years and I do sincerely believe that he is well educated about infant feeding choices. The pros and cons were discussed at length. I'm happy with my decision to bottle feed and I hope you all can accept that. And even if I had nursed my baby initially I'm sure that I would have supplemented after a while, knowing that formula was an acceptable food. As much as some people hate hearing it, both feeding methods are perfectly acceptable and safe. and NO, my doctor wasn't about to try to convince me that formula was "vastly inferior" or scare me that my baby would not thrive; instead we had a good discussion and he commented that I seemed very well educated on the topic and the choice certainly was mine to make, with a clear conscience.
thank you again for welcoming me into this interesting discussion and for being accepting of another person's decision about how to feed their little loved one.

liongirl27
User offline. Last seen 1 year 41 weeks ago. Offline
Joined: 2007-10-08
Reposting censored thread: "It is not about freedom of choi

Wow. There have been some really great points raised in this discussion so far. I thought I would jump in! I actually found this page as I am doing some research for my Comp class; I am doing an essay on the cultural attitudes toward Breastfeeding in Public. My thoughts kind of naturally wandered toward the pro-bf campaign and how bottle feeding mothers might feel about it.
I first want to say that I am currently nursing my 18 month old baby girl, so of course I am a huge advocate of nursing, and don't give a hoot about seeing some accidentally flashed skin at Applebees!
I wanted to address Andrea specifically because I read her post and thought: Oh my God! That sounds exactly like me before I had Lily! I think I was more extreme though, I was completely disgusting by breastfeeding and thought it was, not only animalistic, but perverted as well. I couldn't disassociate breasts from sexual objects. Anyway, in the hospital my child was unable to drink from a bottle, so I decided grudgingly to give nursing a go. We have been on ever since! I am so happy I did it. It was the right choice FOR ME. I am not against bottlefeeders at all, though, as much as I advocate nursing. What I think is that women who bottlefeed and attack breastfeeders are only reacting to the way people make them feel. It is no different than a breastfeeding mother being treated as though she's doing something dirty for nursing in public. Both scenarios should never happen. I think it is the nature of the beast for a mother to feel guilty. Guilt is part of motherhood. There is always someone ready and willing to tell you how to raise your child, what you're doing wrong, and what you should be doing instead. NO mother is 100% confident in her abilities as a parent, no matter what they might say. In today's society as well it is extremely difficult for many women to foster a good breastfeeding relationship. Women are expected to work, and maternity leave, in most cases, is way too short. Financially, bf may be an impossibilty, so formula feeding is the way to go. There are sacrifices either way you look at it.