Do what works for you

Recently I was working out and read an article in Redbook Magazine by Erin Zammett Ruddy, titled No, You Don't Have to Breastfeed. I was surprised that Redbook would print it, and wondered what kind of response would ensue.  I thought Erin was very brave and applaud her for taking the risk of incurring the wrath of people who disagree with the premise that formula is the healthy alternative to breast milk.  She wrote about her experience trying to breastfeed, the struggles and her decision to stop. I understand many women who decide to stop or those who decide not to begin must list all of their reasons and feel as if they have to justify their decision to use formula, because otherwise they will be on the receiving end of a lot of judgement and "Well if I can do it with all my challenges, then by golly so can you" attitude.  Sorry, but I get tired of the sanctimonious, 'you should do this, and you should do that' messages.

For the record, I breastfed and pumped my son exclusively for 9 months, and I went back to work, pumped, breastfed and pumped some more.   I was married to the pump. Was it easy?  No.  Would I ever pressure another woman, friend or patient to do what I did?  No.  That's what worked for me.  Just as I don't pressure them to exercise and eat organic vegetables just because I do, either.  Sure I make recommendations, I offer support and information, but I've found that pressuring or guilting people into "healthier behaviors" often backfires. 

I've helped thousands of moms breastfeed and wrote a Guide to Breastfeeding.  I've read the studies and poured over the data, I have 30 years of experience as a nurse.  Breast milk is optimum, in most cases.  What I know for sure is that in the real world, sometimes things don't work out the way we'd like them too, despite our best efforts. The best way for me to support moms, is to support all moms. To look at each mother/baby pair and work with them, provide support, information, help and encouragement, and check my judgements and "holier than thou" attitude at the door.
 

I'd like it if every mom had 1 year of paid maternity leave, enough food in her fridge to eat healthy balanced meals, a loving and supportive partner, abundant milk supply and the desire to breastfeed her baby according to the American Academy of Pediatrics guidelines.  Yes, I'd love it if nothing ever went awry and all medications were compatible with breastfeeding, if moms never needed chemo or radiation or if there were no such thing as inverted nipples.  I'd love it, if everyone had a perfect let-down and there was no such thing as blocked ducts or mastitis, but right now, I live in the real world, with real moms and real challenges.

For all moms, do the best you can.