Anonymous Confrontation

I met a mom the other night who has 3 children. The youngest is 4 months old, and the others are 8 and 5.  I met her at a girls night out with my sister-in-law at another friend’s house.  We were all impressed that she managed to get out of the house with 3 little ones at home.  I was even more amazed when she revealed that she also worked full time and had a 1 hour commute to her office.
 
Someone asked her if she was breastfeeding. I could see that the other moms were waiting to see how she responded.  After all, she has a good job, she’s well educated, knows the pros and cons, the recommendations, has good child care, and a supportive husband.  She just shook her head. 
 
“I can’t do it all,” she said.  “It’s impossible. I feel really bad about it, but something had to give.”  All the moms, every single one, were reassuring, helpful, and said that they understood. No one made her feel bad, no one questioned her choice or cast doubt on her mothering.  They were all supportive.  No one confronted her the way that I’ve seen on anonymous message boards or chat rooms.  I was happily surprised.  Because, what I know is that when people are face to face and see someone trying to do the best for their family, working, commuting, caring for the family, and they themselves have been through something similar, there’s understanding and acceptance.