Feeding Twins

Recently I was in New York speaking to a Moms' Group.  I met a mom with 5 kids, 2 of whom are twins who are now 2. Her 5 kids are all under 6!   I asked her how she managed, and she yawned, saying, “Well, luckily my parents live nearby, because without them, I don’t know what I would do.  My life is crazy and I’m out of balance.” She has a new 3 month old,  2 year old twins, a 4 year old and a 6 year old.   

We joked that she has a pre-school in her house and she just shook her head.  Eventually, another mom in the group asked her if she was breastfeeding.  This was her Mama Bear response, “Are you kidding me? No, I’m not breastfeeding, and don’t try to convince me that I should be, because you have no idea what my life is like.” 
 
Well, the other mom in the room was not deterred and pressed on about the benefits of breastfeeding. I was kind of wincing in the background, not wanting to interfere in this Clash of the Titans.  Wow, 2 moms who had widely divergent views on an aspect of feeding and were face to face.  I thought they were both brave to speak out on what they believed to be true. It does take confidence to disagree and state your own position.   
 
The mom with 5 kids asked this question, “Are you trying to say that I’m not a good mom because I don’t breastfeed?” The other mom said, “No, that’s not what I’m saying. I’m just saying it’s better to breastfeed.”   
 
Then the mom with 5 kids replied, “In my case, I’d love to have the time to sit down and breastfeed every couple of hours, but that’s not possible, so it’s better for me this way.”  Then she stormed off muttering under her breath.   
 
This was painful to watch and I’m sure it was painful for both women to be a part of.  I think as moms and as women, it’s best not to judge others and to be supportive of every mom’s situation, circumstances and choices.  We’re all doing the best we can.

(This blog was originally posted in 2009)